i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i need an iv and a liver transplant
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
