i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
