honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
