like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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