There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
