Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so let's talk penis.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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