He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
