I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
