i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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