I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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