guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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