He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
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I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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