Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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