yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
