at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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