No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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