Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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