it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
