i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
