but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
