What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
