my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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