Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
