Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
