tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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