Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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