I met the friendliest cop last night
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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