Yo dont text me then not text me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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