we have officially lost it.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We had sex on a dog bed..
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
