That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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