i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
