Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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