I'm really into asian looking animals
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
only you would photoshop your dick
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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