I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Randomize
