Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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