But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
