my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she smelled like a LAN party
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize