Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
