piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
