How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
