he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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