Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
