yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize