Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
