I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
