How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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