**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize