what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
do nipples grow back?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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