I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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