I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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