It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
