i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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