Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
