you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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